Silence
by SMS13
Summary: Abby wanders through a sea of emotions.... Standalone.


**_AUTHOR'S NOTES: Standalone. Have fun. Please review..._**

_Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter... _

Abby walked the lonely streets of Chicago. Not a soul would ever be at this part of town, at this hour. It was infested with hookers, rats, and gunshots heard in the distance. But she needed to get away. Make sure he wouldn't find her. Make sure no one would find her. She was an alcoholic. She was a cheating girlfriend. She was depressed. She never smiled. She was hopless. She was Abby. Poor little distraught and unloved Abby. Luka used to say that to her. But she had always ignored it. But now, she finally understood it. She had ruined everything. Carter was perfect. He had only tried to help. He loved her. She broke his heart. She did want children. His children. She would love them, no matter what. But she realized this all too late. No more kisses and hugs in the empty exam rooms. No more late night talks. No more support or guidence. And the one thing she would miss most was love. His love. She had never expierenced anything like it. She had a feeling, deep within her, that nothing could ever go wrong. He was protection and security. He was her shoulder to cry on. He was her punching bag at times. He was everything she wanted but never had. Her mother wasn't love, she was a crazy headcase that didn't care what happened to her son or daughter. Erik. Erik was different. He was his own part of the circle. When she had needed him most, tried to help him, he left. Disappered. But she loved him. He was family. She really thought Richard was going the right way. He wasn't. He was a selfish, stuck up bastard, and nothing more. Luka was passion, but only in bed. He was never emotionally sound. And she knew that would lead to his self destruction if not both.

_Love is like quicksand. The deeper you fall, the harder it is to get out... _

But Carter. Carter was everything she could have ever asked for. He was love. He was passion. He was hers. Not anymore. Why was she so scared? Why did she become so dependent on him? Because she thought this would last forever. But it didn't. No love ever lasts forever. She was exhausted. She sat down on a bench, and looked up at the dark sky. She saw one star, and wished upon it. Wished that she had enough courage within herself to admit she was wrong, give in to his every wish. She loved him. She would die for him. She got up and contiuned on. Where she was off to, she didn't know. All the things she coudl have done differntly ran through her head. All her inner demons had won. She felt her pendant, upon the gold necklace, bouncing every time she stepped. She grabbed onto it, and pulled it along the top of the chain. It was a habit she started when Carter had given the beautiful chain and pendant to her. The chain was his gift, the pendant was his family's heirloom. Every Carter gave it to the one he loved. Carter had given it to her. But she was unworthy. She gave up on toying with it and let it drop onto her chest. She had passed seven bars on her unknown quest and hadn't gone in. Every open door screamed her name. Every taste bud on her tounge screamed for the liquid, but she didn't give in. Her legs were moving her to unknown places.

_Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense... _

Finally, she had reached a familiar part of town. She walked along the empty sidewalk right by the lake. The lights of the ferris wheel were still shining, and she could see that it was crowded, even at this hour. She pushed away from it. The atmosphere didn't fit her mood. The night continued to get darker. She didn't know what she was going to do. She couldnt' go home. What if he was there? She could go to Susan's, but she was probably with Luka. She was alone. She had never felt this alone before in her life. She tasted the salty tears falling along her lips, and licked them away. She had to stay strong. Nothing worked. They kept on coming, never ceasing. She gave up hope. She sat down on the ledge, and saw the water hitting the rocky shoreline. Strange to believe this was all made up of garbage after the Chicago Fire. She laughed to herself. But that didn't last long. The moon was out, and casting eerie shadows along the coast. She thought she heard footsteps behind her, but didn't bother to turn around and look. After a while, she ignored the thought of someone standing behind her. She felt a jacket slip around her shoulders. "Abby, I'm sorry. I love you." She couldn't bring herself to look at him. He was apoligizing. She was the one that should be begging for fogiveness. She was the one that hurt him, tore his heart out, and threw it against a wall. She was the one that should have been wondering, walking around looking for him. But she wasn't. He understood it all too well. She tired to choke out a small "I"m sorry." but that didn't work. He sat down next to her, and pulled her head into his chest. He cried with her. Love wasn't supposed to hurt this much, but it did. It was true. It was real. She felt his hands slide over her hair, onto her cheeks, wipping away her tears. Her head slowly went up to meet his eyes. This was love. He kissed her. Small, short, and simple. It sent shock waves through her body. She smiled. The first, most genuine smile ever. He kissed her on her forehead again, like a father would kiss his daughter after scolding her. She saw him get up, and put his hands around her shoulders, then under her knees. He picked her up, and she cuddled closer into him. They walked in silence for hours. This was all they needed. They didn't need to kiss. They didn't the sex. They didn't even need words. This was what Abby had spent her life searching for. And she found it.

_I want you to want me, I need you to need me, I'd love you to love me... _


End file.
